Finding Gratitude in Difficult Times

To quote a very wise woman, Miley Cyrus, "I came in like a wrecking ball." Recent world events have impacted our lives left some of us feeling really sad and Miley's words, although about wreaking havoc on someone's heart, are, I think, apt.

It’s been hard lately. Many of us are feeling battered and bruised, worn and worn out by these uncontrollable, unexpected events of the world right now. These events have caused me to think about gratitude lately. I've been thinking about how gratitude can help us better cope with these challenging, often stressful, and overwhelming times that we find ourselves living in.

What is gratitude?

What is gratitude? Is it a mood – gratitude attitude, a feeling, a trait, or disposition? Or is it all of those things? In its simplest definition, gratitude is about recognizing the good things you in your life, whether that be possessions, your relationships, circumstances etc., and truly appreciating them – being thankful for them.

The other component of gratitude, according to the experts, is recognizing the good things, the positive benefits, that come from an external source. People can experience gratitude toward others – whether that is another person, nature, fate, God, or other sources, for the positive benefit they’ve received.

No matter the definition we can probably all agree that gratitude is a good thing and can improve our lives and perspectives on the world around us.

What does cultivating gratitude mean?

According to Dr. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., the leading scientific expert on gratitude, cultivating gratitude involves a conscious daily discipline where you choose to focus on the things that are working for you in your everyday life, the extraordinary and the ordinary.

The benefits of gratitude are plenty, including improving your psychological health, improving your relationships, helping you to sleep better and more. Gratitude is good for our mental and physical health and wellbeing and our relationships with others. Gratitude forces us to focus on abundance rather than on what we lack. With gratitude, we focus on the positive experiences (even in the face of a negative event) which can lead to a shift in our perspectives and mood.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t feel bad about negative situations and setbacks. It means we train our minds to not dwell on the negative and sit in that place. Instead cultivating gratitude means you look for those opportunities in the failures and, when you find them, you take advantage of it. Emmons calls this 'grateful living.'

4 Simple Ways Find Gratitude in Difficult Times

As Emmons says, practicing daily gratitude shouldn’t be a burden that weighs us down or be something we see as another item on our to-do list to check off. Gratitude, he says, should make us feel more positive, more cheerful.

Here are a few simple ways to begin to bring more gratitude into your day, especially when dealing with difficult times.

1 | Begin each day with a gratitude mindset

The moment you open your eyes, give thanks. Do not reach for the phone to check the news, emails, messages, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. This can have negative effects on your mental health including creating feelings of stress and overwhelm. We don’t want that for you.

I want to challenge you to leave the phone alone and instead begin your morning with gratitude in the form of saying a simple “Thank You.” These two words can be used to express how grateful you are for being alive, having a roof over your head, your health, safety and wellbeing, or other positive outcomes in your life.

‘Thank you’ can be enough to put you in a more appreciative mindset and positive mood. It's a little thing, but it's powerful, especially given the current climate. As former monk turned thought leader and author, Jay Shetty says, “imagine what the world would be like if we all started our day giving thanks for the most basic and essential gifts of life all around us.”

2 | Write down a few good things in your day

Gratitude journaling is a great way to get into a habit of daily gratitude. It allows you time to pause and reflect on the positive aspects of your day, which let’s face it, can often be overshadowed by all the bad news in the world or just the challenges of day-to-day life.

Another aspect of writing and reflecting from a place of gratitude in difficult times is that you can truly appreciate all that you have. Emmons says, “If you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for having something that you don’t.” Put another way, you are less inclined to focus on what you don’t have because you are aware of the suffering of others and the abundance in your own life.

Take time out to think about your day as a whole and intentionally seek to find the good, you may surprise yourself. Also, keep in mind, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Keep it simple and let the good feelings flow.

3 | Pay it Forward

Make someone else’s day with a Thank You. Those two words again. Little but mighty powerful.

Think about someone who showed you kindness, whether recently or in the past, that you wish to thank. It can be a loved one or even someone from your past that you never got to thank properly for something they'd done that positively impacted your life. In the words of the former monk, author and thought leader, Jay Shetty, “gratitude has no expiration date.”

Go ahead! Reach out to that person from the past or write a thank you note (you can send it or choose to keep it). In doing so, you will make some feel pretty special and put a smile on their face while also reaping the powerful good feelings that come from that small act of kindness.

You can also thank someone mentally if that works better for you. It will give you a deeper appreciation of what the person has done for you in a way you may have taken for granted before.

4 | Count blessings, not sheep

I recently read, The Maid by Nita Prose and the protagonist, Molly the maid, said that counting her blessings each night before bed was better than counting sheep. When she counted her blessings before bed, she woke up feeling ready for the day ahead. Now, this may be a fun mystery novel, but Molly was on to something!

Before you go to sleep make it your intention to let go of the days’ worries, including the sad news stories, and focus on more pleasant thoughts. Doing your gratitude journaling before bed can help with this.

This gratitude practice can help you fall asleep with happier thoughts which in turn, may help you get better sleep. If you have a good night's sleep, chances are you'll start your day in a better mood. Do you see how that works?!

Final Thoughts

I know we can feel overwhelmed with negativity at the moment, that it’s hard to find the good. But trying to find moments in your day to feel uplifted by gratitude can make a difference in how your feel by magnifying the positive emotions.

Cassandra (she/her) is a 9-to-5er and when she’s not at her full-time gig, she’s tapping into her creative superpower as a lifestyle content creator and photographer. Her experience with career burnout has turned her into a wellness warrior who knows the power of healing through slowing down and finding calm in everyday with mindfulness, self-compassion, humour and realistic optimism.

Follow her for some inspiration on Instagram: @swaggerandgreys

WellnessCassandra McD.May 17, 2022WellnessComment